the lion and the lamb TF2 yaoi scout fanfic
by tf2screw
Summary: the tail of two star crossed lovers reid and jay RED and BLU destined to never be together but the time vortex inside jays butthog brings them closer then ever in a saga of soul stirring stories thatll touch your heart and mind And davros had his porn


Reid struts into the clearing looking fine his penis hard as a thanksgiving turkey leg and his pectorals spasming to the rhythmic beets of fine raggae music his dick bobs up and down as he prances and his assless chaps make his meaty thunder thighs sweaty with rage for his luver jay who he craved more than a refired been burrito right now "JAY" he yodelled like a appelacian plus size model lapping his stinky shit caked tongue on his puckered anus of a mouth in anticipation for jay to come and present his anus to him

"wut the fuck u want jay cant you see your cum is ripping through my soft rock hard asshole like a geyser of currosive" jay shat into the toilet as he checked out reid's delicious man trays of abs featuring cupcakes of every flavor and texture imaged by the gods of fine ambrosia. "goddammit reid u gotta stop doin this ok you flap your flappy mcflappin flappingly flap buncakes to me but i told ya son i aint gonna change my communist mind."

REIDS ANUS sputters a tune that sounds like the brady bunch theme while pina colata trickles from those luscious buns and the hairs stand on end with rage "jay damnit your not a bird anymore you gotta learn that mama is a turkish maassagge owl and you are one hell of a pickle farmer" he lashed out his MEATY claw and grabbed jay around the tit shoving his pinky deep into the nipple socket "you know what jay its fucking time for us to fuck my dicks name is jim and it wants to meet spock right now bend ur end over before i cum on roddy mcdowell's pumpkin pie" the angry penis of reid flew off like a projectile missile from soldier's rocket launcher and landed square in jays eyehole making him a demoman now "fuck you class change bitch now its mariah carrey's turn to be my cunt slobbering whore knob. give me that sack in my mouth."

"oh motherfuck you motherfucking bird tit licker christ motherfucking fried chicken balls fucker" jay splooged all over the place as he flailed miserably about and broke one of his great gram grams myspace titty angle pictures off the wall and it shattered and he yelled BLOWJOB THE CLOWN which conjured an army of cock-loving scoots ready to pound both reid and jay into infinity and beyond "also i like pumpkin pie in my large intestine" spewed jay out his fucked up eyeball

Reid loved jays fucked up eyeball but what he loved more was the sweet milk produced from his orifice when he uttered the satanic mantras of the clown that sucked dicks of demons he really loved jay he loved him so much his sweaty little armits began pumping out stank riddled man water and sprayed acid tears all over roddy mcdowel and the pussy cats aka the scouts that crawled from the center of the earth for some hot dick in ass action "jason mah boy this peace is what all true warriors strive for" his blubbery mouth hole flapped and he did his best fat albert impersonation "you know its time for our hourly cock battle when the boys come to town from the great war" he gestured idly with the tip of his throbbing shark hammer to all the greasy little apes wriggling and calling out for dildo dispensers "may i proceed to cram my pie into your dick gobbler lover?"

"let me tell you somethin son" jason took a big shit all over reids face like a landside of hot liquid diarrhea it was almost like chocolate and very chunky and holy shit i just saw a big piece of dust fly right in front of my monitor but anyway this shit he took was huge it was enough to wipe out japan and go doki doki all over the kawaii nekos sugui or whatever the fuck those crazy asians spew out their beautiful tentacles shoes and oh yes it was also very chunky and nutritious enough to replenish the fruits of a third world country once again if that were ever true lol "listen reid" continue jay "if ur gonna do it in my ass just kno that i aint gonna clean this motherfucker cause its gonna take not only a clown warrior to purify its swampy banks but a fucking miracle you hiv positive rhinoceros"

"JUSst because I have the HIVs doesnt mean you can go around being an ass burgler jay this is fucking it i want a divorce i miss the good old days when mia was our shoe shine boy and all roddy did was bitch about titties and vagina blemishes!" roddy no wait i mean jay .. no thats still wrong, reid took his dick and sslammed it down on the kitchen counter like naruto doing a judo chop to sasukes mucusy mangina "jay you think your so fab you know what you stinky little ball sac? i took a BIG PISS in your breakfast cereal this morning and you still drank all your milk like the skanky ho you are this isnt fucking KEESHA FABO jay! this FUCKING ISNT GOD DAMNIT I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU" as reid chanted this salty tears poored from his spiget and that one scout who looks like a girl and is that one chick who hymen grows backs sister i mean brother came and lapped them up looking like a hush puppy while spraying a thick ooze of milk out his nose "look jay my bulls are full of seed and rage and i need to unload my unborn children into your asshole because theres no other way your gonna get mpreg and theres no other way these angry coconuts will get there satisfaction if you dont just goatse for me and let my dick kame hame ha right up in there ok fucking LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING PUKE LIFE you DICK monger holy FUCKKKKKKKKKAH"

jay sighed very longly it was even longer than reids infinite multiverse penis like in doctor who where they explore all different kinds of universes well if the doctor heard this sigh he would immediately be reminded of reids infinite schlong "ok" pooped jay "reid fine butt(sex) i am warning you you will not like what you see or even feel its dangerous to go alone take this" he jerked off a slab of roadkill into reids angelic baby ass smooth hands that could be violated by even the pedophilest of pedophiles "ok reid" puked jay "i am ready for my cock roach-fested dick punishment"

this was all very good. very very good. jay was like pamela andersons vagina very flappy and very tanned. he looked delicious like pork chops with a fine glaze of seaman. "jay you are the best boy a canadian can have" he mounted like a mounty on a moose in march while his penis yawned inside jay. "" he sang to the mary poppins song chim chimminey but flounder the fish was no where to be found. roddy mcdowel and mia carrey mounted him [mia in this story was turned into mio a boy also a really shitty diet drink] and she spewed her purple colored liquids in roddy mcdowels pudding gobbler! "oh jay you fine little fiddler crab i think my thunder thighs are clapping for your cheese" he likes jays delicious foreskin cheese he ate it like bre on crackers. the road kill he used as lubricant. "my time is coming nere i think the transformation is complete jay" his dick searched for the light of cthulu inside jay for the demon lord lived deep in these bowels and could be heard crying to his morning soap opera All My Children every morning at 11am "jay the lamb meat in the fridge is going rotten!" and then the seal was broken.

"goddammit reid HARDER YOU " OH oh wait jay isnt speaking sorry about that "MY ASSHOLE IS IMPLODING REID HURRY WE"RE ABOUT TO BIRTH ANOTHER UNIVERSE THIS IS THE BIG BANG CRAZY NEW AGE HIPPIE BULLSHIT ARTISTS HAVE BEEN FARTING ABOUT IN EACH OTHERS URETHAS" okay there we go jay took another giant shit and it splattered all over the place and then he took another one this time the shit literally engulfed reid and consumed him it was both intricately erotic but most of all downright disgusting and disturbing and soon enough it began eating the rest of reid like a giant valentines chocolates snake

oh no it was the glory hole apocalypse all over again as he plummeted himself into jays constipated uranus he could feel the turd sticking to the end of his dinglehopper and when he pulled back it was like the plug to a bathtub but instead of it going down the drain the drain sprayed shit all over your face and your new velvet lined pink mercedes benz "FUCKIT FUCKIT FUCKIT I AM NOT A WHORE BUT I LIKE TO DO IT" this was all a lot for reid to take in he had just lost his job down at the dildo factory and now he was gonna have another mouth to feeed? jay didnt understand how difficult it was to be the man of the house with all these little shit goblins aka fagscouts crawling around and dwelling in their basement playing DnD: butt fuck edition "jay this is it i got a divorce and oh no OH NO OH NO' he was sucked into the vortex of jays jealous jit drinker and it smelled like rank vagina in there "aaaah jaaay noooooooooooooooooooooooo" he saw raptor jesus and a few missing pairs of sucks it was difficult for him to keep balance in the dimensional rift that jays asshole had ripped open like it was nothing "this is not what i signed up for when i joined RED i neeeeeeeeeeeed my laaaaaaaaaaaaaawyer roooodyyy " the cries rippled through his anus and flang themselves into there crappy roach infested shit hole of an apartment where was lassie when you needed her

"oh my god goddess allah jesus satan mohammed krishna moses tittydicks and other religious figures" rainbow'd jay throughout this wonderful chocolately spectrum of the velocity between his ass and reid's powerful throbbing dick it was throbbing so hard a vein almost exploded and gave him an aneurysm. soon enough they built a toys r us in jay's anus with the help of harry potter and his wizarding friends but suddenly death note and everyone died the end. but then jay woke up next to reid. "fuck."

oh no it was inception all over again and the toys r'us wasnt there no orphans got gift this christmas! when reid woke up he came to find his dick was a lot smaller then in this spector of a reality and it spewed a tiny drop of semen in shame "oh no jay did you dream what i dreamed that we were all in doctor who and i got sucked into your anal vortex" reid sucked all the mucus from his nose and collected it in his throat and proceeded to spat it on their grubby carpets "jay that was really fucked up."

"fucking shit man all over your goddamn dick thats nasty i told you it would be unwise to journey through my swampy depths" jay farted he farted so hard that all the shit and cum and mucus and his organs just torpedo'd right out of his anus and destroyed their dildo-filled asspartment "well fuck you too" cocked jay and he died.

well this sucks his bf 5ever was dead andhis last words were promisesing for sexes. fucking ass wanger. reid bit into jays small intestine and sucked out the digestive fluids and then sprayed them out his nose like an angry vulva when roddy came in. CAME in well reid would have none of it he turned around like an anrgy skunk and sprayed a thick mist out of his tail hole right in roddy mcdowels face and mios and they dead! reid decided his time was up and he ripped jay open then crawled inside his body like tha taun taun in starwars where he soon became the famous actor kevin bacon.


End file.
